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At times, have you been guilty as charged? Oh yes, me too! There are way too many days I find myself doing way more of the talking and not nearly enough of the listening… obviously, there are some advantages to being able to have the “gift of gab.” It serves me well conducting professional development sessions, training sessions, coaching and mentoring inexperienced and experienced teachers on any multitude of reasons that they might need me to be their best cheerleader. In many of these scenarios, the ability to run my mouth constantly serves me pretty well.
As well, the gift of gab can serve us well when we need to VENT! What superwoman doesn’t need to vent??As far as I can fathom, all of us for sure! You have to admit, sometimes you just feel better after mouthing off a little bit… tell the truth now, I know you do! Ya’ll might think I’m crazy for this but I do believe that the absolute best “tell-off” is on the movie, “Days of Thunder.” Have you ever seen Nicole Kidman (can’t remember movie screen name) but she tells off Cole Trickle (Tome Cruise) and rarely comes up for air. It makes me feel good every time I see it I have to admit — a definite great release of endorphins!
Here… get you a little dose of this 1990 movie… this video will excite you even if you could care less about racing… Days of Thunder Clip!
Now, here is another great example of having the “gift of gab” and being able to vent. Listen to this British five year old little girl do some venting about homelessness! She means business! Venting By a Five Year Old British Young Lady…
But, then on the other hand… don’t let your venting turn into whining. If need be, set a timer for a minute of so and just whine loud and clear like crazy and get it out of your system. Again, the release of those feel good endorphins, dopamine and serotonin, are worth it ten-fold.
But, sometimes we can talk TOO MUCH… just plain TOO MUCH no other way to put it — more assertively stated — no filter… get the drift? When circumstances send our emotions reeling, it can happen quickly and unintentionally to any of us. We must all remember that a critical component to our daily well-being is the ability to speak less and listen more… just think about this… if God had intended for us to talk more than listen he would have probably given us two mouths rather than two ears is what I’m thinking… what about you?
So, simply put, we are very capable of “over-venting” to say the least. In the infamous words of Elmer Fudd, “Shhhh. Be quiet. Be vewy vewy quiet.”
Many times in our efforts to ask God for answers to particular circumstances and situations, we are talking so much that God can’t get a word in edge-wise. Have you ever been guilty of this? Mercy me, I sure have! God ALWAYS hears your genuine cries for help, and he always, without fail, provides a way; however, the solution will go completely unnoticed because we can’t shut our mouth long enough to calm our spirit and hear it!
Sometimes, we just need to shut up and listen. Think about if we listened more, how might our lives be really different. Begging God for answers and direction, we drone and ramble so much sometimes that we miss the message fair and square!
And… there are many, many tools that exist that can help us in some of our scenarios and circumstances that are making us crazy, if we are just willing to stop long enough and listen and breathe. Remember that whining can get you attention; however, listening can get you results.
There are also several verses that remind us to be still and just listen… Psalm 46 tells us to “Be still, and know that I am God.” (vs. 10) Your greatest job during difficult times is the ability to be still! Additionally, Psalm 121 reminds us that when the psalmist needed help, he looked to the hills.
So, in your efforts to vent and blow off some steam, don’t forget just to be still and listen for your answers are truly revealed if you will slow down, take notice, and JUST LISTEN…
Tools for Advice and Help:
I have included some titles of books that help us to learn to listen better and refine the ability to reflect and act upon the answers that we receive. One tool is that of the book, The Lost Art of Listening, Second Edition: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships.
One person talks; the other listens. It’s so basic that we take it for granted. Unfortunately, most of us think of ourselves as better listeners than we actually are. Why do we so often fail to connect when speaking with family members, romantic partners, colleagues, or friends? How do emotional reactions get in the way of real communication? This thoughtful, witty, and empathic book has already helped over 125,000 readers break through conflicts and transform their personal and professional relationships. Experienced therapist Mike Nichols provides vivid examples, easy-to-learn techniques, and practical exercises for becoming a better listener–and making yourself heard and understood, even in difficult situations.
Another tool is that of The Listening Life: Embracing Attentiveness in a World of Distraction. Christianity Today’s 2017 Book of the Year Award – Spiritual Formation Logos Association Bookstore Award, Best Christian Living Book for 2016 Bookwise’s Favorite Books of the Year, Non-Fiction “Be quick to listen, slow to speak.” ―James 1:19 How would our lives change if we approached every experience with the intention of listening first? In this noisy, distracting world, it is difficult to truly hear. People talk past each other, eager to be heard but somehow deaf to what is being said. Listening is an essential skill for healthy relationships, both with God and with other people.
But, it is more than that: listening is a way of life. Adam McHugh places listening at the heart of our spirituality, our relationships and our mission in the world. God himself is the God who hears, and we too can learn to hear what God may be saying through creation, through Scripture, through people. By cultivating a posture of listening, we become more attentive and engaged with those around us. Listening shapes us and equips us to be more attuned to people in pain and more able to minister to those in distress. Our lives are qualitatively different―indeed, better―when we become listeners. Heed the call to the listening life, and hear what God is doing in you and the world. (I really love this selection!!)
Do You Need to Learn to Communicate and LISTEN Better?
Finally, Are You Really Listening?: Keys to Successful Communication. In this book, Donoghue and Siegel answer these questions and more in this thoughtful, witty, and helpful look at the reasons why people don’t listen. Filled with vivid examples that clearly demonstrate easy-to-learn listening techniques, Are You Really Listening? is a guide to the secrets and joys of listening and being listened to.
What are your best tools for just being still, not talking quiet so much and just listening?
Have an awesome Wednesday!
Source: How to Have a Fabulous Life No Matter What Comes Your Way! Authored By: Karen Scalf Linamen